margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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