white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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