If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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