Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
