I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
