I want to have your abortion
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
