I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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