dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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