So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
