Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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