Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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