no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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