so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
