she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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