i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
