Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sundayâ€
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