I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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