Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
