She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
