she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
