is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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