We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
