dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
