Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
