That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
