I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
