He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
