i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
