ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
