he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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