He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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