Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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