It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
