Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
