i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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