my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
