I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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