They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
