So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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