Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
