So drunk, too bad you don't want this
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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