Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
