I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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