You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
