you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
