dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
