His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
