I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
