happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
