dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
